7 Common Myths About Divorce in Tennessee

Those who have never been through a divorce might have many misconceptions about what the process will be like. Within the culture, there are certain myths about divorce that are pervasive, but often have no basis in truth. If you are living in Knoxville and you are thinking about whether or not divorce might be in your future, allow us to shatter some of the myths that you might hold about divorce.

Myth: Mothers always get custody of the children.

Truth: Courts do not automatically grant custody to either parent; rather, the decision is made in the best interest of the child. In the majority of cases, couples decide that the best interest of the child is often with the mother, but there is no legal reason why a father would not get primary residential custody of the child.

Myth: Marital assets will always be split 50/50

Truth: Tennessee divorce law dictates that marital property gets divided through equitable distribution, which strives to be fair, but does not promise that all marital assets will be split down the middle 50/50. Family law judges in Tennessee have the latitude to use their own discretion when dividing marital assets in an effort to ensure fairness.

Myth: Divorce is always a nasty court battle.

Truth: Divorce can be an adversarial process, but all it takes is a commitment on both parts to be as business-like as possible throughout the process. The more stubborn and vindictive the parties, the longer the divorce will take and the more you will pay in legal fees. While a divorce will probably never be full of sunshine and rainbows, it does not have to devolve into a nasty battle.

Myth: The kids will bounce back just fine.

Truth: Children need structure, a safe place to call home, parents who love them, school and social activities, and they need the assurance that those familiar things in their lives will be there for as long as they need them. Divorce uproots children, places them in the middle of varying degrees of conflict between the two human beings that once represented stability, safety, and comfort. As challenging as it might be for them to live with parents who don’t get along, or who are at each other’s throats constantly, breaking up their familiar home and dividing their family shakes a child’s foundations and will have enduring repercussions in the child’s life.

Parents can take the time to make sure that their child’s need are being met throughout the divorce process, that they are shielded from the conflict, not forced to choose sides and that they feel as secure as possible in a time of upheaval and change. Just remember that while you or your spouse may have been thinking about the divorce for a while, your children probably haven’t. They might need more time to adjust than you think they will.

Myth: If I am a stay-at-home-parent, my spouse will have to pay alimony.

Truth: The notion of automatic alimony for the parent who stays home with the children is becoming a thing of the past. If you have relevant, marketable skills, the judge will expect you to return to work and earn your own income.

Myth: I will get a more favorable settlement because my spouse committed adultery.

Truth: Divorce is nothing more than the dissolution of the contract of marriage. One party’s bad behavior will not have an impact on the property division process, unless one party has been egregious or reckless in dissipating marital assets to fund their affair, or is hiding assets in secret accounts. The court is not casting any kind of moral judgement in a divorce, so you are mistaken if you think that the divorce will be your opportunity to seek revenge on a cheating spouse.

Myth: A no-fault divorce is always faster and cheaper than a contested divorce.

Truth: Some divorces that start out as an uncontested divorce can devolve into a battle unexpectedly. Divorce is always more difficult than you think it will be, but whether or not it ends up being an ugly fight or a civilized parting of ways depends on the decisions that each party makes about how they will handle themselves.

At the Law Offices of LaFevor & Slaughter, we are here to answer your questions and give you legal advice about your divorce. You are welcome to call us at 865-637-6258 or fill out our contact form to schedule a consultation to discuss your case today with an experienced Knoxville divorce attorney today.