Co-Parenting Tips for Starting the School Year Off Successfully

Kids are busy these days. They have band practice, Tae Kwon Do classes, dance classes, play dates, doctors’ appointments and baseball practice just to name a few of the extra-curricular activities that kids are involved in. There are also parent-teacher conferences, and school activities that you must coordinate with your ex so that you can share the responsibilities for attending and supporting your child. If this will be your first school year as a divorced parent (or if maybe last year was a bit of a disaster from an organizational standpoint) we want to share some tips and ideas that may help the school year go more smoothly as a co-parent.

We share these tips in hopes that if the logistical details are all worked out and communicated clearly, there will be fewer opportunities for conflict and discord in the family as you are learning how to negotiate life as separate households working together to make sure that the children have a happy, rewarding life.

Before we dive in, though, remember that it is vital that you operate from the foundation of the Parenting Plan Agreement. It is also helpful if both parents approach that unknown territory called co-parenting with the desire to engage in as little conflict as possible. Even if you are the only one who seems to be adhering to that plan, that still cuts the level of potential conflict in half.

1.    Clear communication is key to a successful school year

Clear communication is the foundation of any good relationship. When you are dealing with coordinating schedules and parenting responsibilities for your child now that you are divorced, it can be a challenging task to keep everyone up-to-date. At the outset, decide on how you will communicate whether by phone, email or text message.

If relations are not peaceful between you, agree to maintain a business-like rapport. If you can work together, having in-person meetings to discuss school work, challenges, discipline and any other issues that come up can be helpful.

2.    Meet with your child’s teacher (either together or separately).

Schedule a meeting including both of you and your child’s teacher. Explain the dynamics of what is happening with the divorce, where the child is living and who will be picking up and dropping off. This way both of you can handle any issues that come up for your child together, the teacher will have met both of you and knows your situation.

3.    Review school and activities calendar ahead of time and mark off important dates.

You would hate to schedule a business trip on the day your child has an important event at school. Marking the dates on in advance can help plan your other obligations around your child’s school activities. You might want to try using a free online calendar or an app that can be updated and viewed quickly from your phones, to minimize any potential problems.

4.    Attend school events together whenever possible.

You might be raising your eyebrows at this one, but imagine how great it would feel for your child to gaze into the audience from the stage and see both of their parents sitting together and applauding their accomplishment? You are both expressing your love and support for your child, and you are modeling your capacity to be effective parents.

5.    Coordinate back-to-school shopping.

If the kids are with you on a weekend in July and you hit a big sale at Staples, only to bring them home and find that your ex did the school shopping while the kids were away, that would not be fun. Divide up the lists of supplies and clothes and decide who will take on which items so that you are not duplicating effort and the child gets what they need.

6.    Get clear on school pick-up, drop-off, timing and what your child needs each day.

Does Jr. have his Aikido uniform in his backpack? Did your daughter remember to pack her saxophone and her tennis racquet? If you are responsible to drop the kids off at school when they stay with you, you must have all the details about what they will need for the day.

7.    Make your child feel supported and loved.

The underlaying theme in these tips is that your first priority as co-parents after divorce is to make sure that your children feel loved and supported, and that they have not lost out because their parents are now divorced.

Navigating life after divorce is never easy. We help divorcing couples create a workable parenting plan, and we support them in resolving conflict so that they can be effective co-parents. We invite you to contact an experienced Knoxville child custody lawyer at LaFevor & Slaughter by calling 865-637-6258 or filling out our contact form now.