How to Avoid the Top 7 Common Divorce Mistakes
Going through a divorce will change almost every aspect of your life. If this is your first divorce, chances are you are going to make some mistakes. It is an emotionally charged undertaking and when emotions are involved, some folks’ decisions are not always the best ones. In an effort to help you avoid some of the more common mistakes that we see people making over and over again, we created this list of the Top 7 most common mistakes we see. Consider these suggestions in the spirit of trying to help you avoid additional heart break that comes when you act before you think things through.
- Underestimating your living expenses after divorce. If your household is currently functioning on two incomes, obviously, things will change after the divorce is final. Take a realistic look at what your living expenses will be when you must live on just one income. Even if the two of you agree to divide up the marital debt, if one of you defaults the other is on the hook for it. Pay off as much of the shared debt as you can before your divorce is final.
- Allowing your emotions to inform your actions. Negative emotions are very powerful and when you allow them to motivate your actions it can cause a lot of problems in your divorce. Keep in mind that the more you fight with your spouse, the more you obstruct the process and the more you dig in your heels the longer everything will take and it will cost more money. Getting a grasp of your emotions and approaching your divorce from a civil, business-like perspective will benefit everyone in the end.
- Being unwilling to compromise/ agreeing to everything. You feel hurt by your spouse’s actions and by the divorce and you want to make them pay. We get it – really, we do. However, being intractable and being unwilling to give an inch on what you want will only delay the process and increase your attorney fees. On the other hand being too passive and just saying, “yes” to everything is not going to do you any good either. Allowing your soon-to-be-former spouse to walk all over you will only result in you losing out on what is rightfully yours.
- Not focusing on your children’s needs. Sometimes parents who are divorcing get so caught up in their own emotions of grief, betrayal, anger and disappointment that they do not take the time to make sure that their children’s needs are being met.
- Assuming your entitlement to alimony/ spousal support. Alimony is not guaranteed. Assuming that it is can be an invitation to disappointment.
- Overlooking the creation of a parenting plan if you have children. The parenting plan is a vital step in making sure that the co-parenting relationship works and that the best interests of the child are taken into consideration. In Tennessee, it’s required that you have one. Make sure you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse spend the amount of time and effort on it that you need to, in order to protect your kids.
- Not taking care of your own needs. We know there’s a lot to think about: money, your kids, whether or not your friends are going to “Take sides.” Don’t forget that you need some time to yourself, too. Make time for your friends, seeking counseling if you feel overwhelmed or depressed, and treat yourself – within reason – to the things you like by making room for them in the budget.
If you are thinking about getting a divorce, you are welcome to schedule a consultation with a Knoxville divorce attorney at LaFevor & Slaughter. We invite you to contact us with your questions about Tennessee divorce.
As the Managing Attorney with LaFevor & Slaughter, Jason R. Hines handles new client consultations, strategic planning and implementation and represents clients in all the Firm’s practice areas.
As an attorney practicing law in Tennessee since 2009, Jason has represented clients from all walks of life in a wide range of cases in the State and Federal Courts of Tennessee. His practice areas include divorce, family law and immigration.